SHOW BAN FOR PEKE BREEDER'S CONTEMPT

 (A McGonagall Sonnet based on a Guardian report 4 June 1985)

A wee ban has been placed, by the Kennel Club General Committee,
on Mrs Barbara Lashmar, aged 63, of Redhill, Surrey,
because she "discredited the canine world." They showed
no pity -
she's banned from all dog shows for ten years because in a flurry
of temper she told how Miss Adele Summers (who fled from the
judging ring in tears
with her dog "Modesty Permits") had slept with gay or
stud judges.
She said Miss Summers' dog was an effing cripple, and (it
appears)
she shouted out, without any winks or nudges:
"Anybody who gives that dog a ticket is an effing crook!"
Miss Summers was very embarrassed and asked if she had to stay.
Mrs Lashmar was calling the other breeders every name in the book.
She shouted loud: "Good. You're an effing big-head anyway!"
as Miss Summers went. Major General Martin Sinall,
Kennel Club Secretary, added an afterthought:
"We regard ourselves very much the gentle end of sport."

- Gavin Ewart